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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
Should I kill myself?
2.
3.
4.
But soon the sense of His presence had been blotted out by worldly clamors, mostly those within myself.
5.
6.
7.
8.
This resolution I kept steadfastly for the next forty years, except when circumstances made it seem unwise to absent myself.
9.
10.
Now willing to commence the search for his
own defects, he will ask, "Just how do I go about this? How do I
take inventory of myself?"
11.
12.
13.
I fancied myself a leader, for had not the men of my
battery given me a special token of appreciation?
14.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
15.
They grinned, which I didn't like so much, and then asked me if I thought myself alcoholic and if I were really licked this time.
16.
I, who had thought so well of
myself and my abilities, of
my capacity to surmount
obstacles, was cornered
at last.
17.
18.
By this time I was beginning to pay very dearly physically and, in hope of relief, voluntarily incarcerated myself at least a dozen times in one of the local sanitariums.
19.
I can't say upon what occasion or upon what day I came to believe in a Power greater than myself, but I certainly have that belief
now.
20.
21.
Again I swayed dizzily before an open window, or the medicine cabinet where there
was poison, cursing myself for a weakling.
22.
23.
24.
But now the words "Of myself I am nothing, the Father doeth the works" began to carry bright promise and meaning.
25.
For myself, I had adopted those parts which seemed convenient and not
too difficult; the rest I
disregarded.
26.
27.
As the whisky rose to my head I told myself I would manage better next time, but I might as well get good and drunk then.
28.
29.
30.
These are the sort of fundamental inquiries
that can disclose the source of my discomfort and
indicate whether I may be
able to alter my own conduct and so adjust myself serenely to self-discipline.
31.
I conducted myself so creditably that I was able to
secure a much coveted internship in a western city, where I spent two years.
32.
33.
I used to get terribly upset when I saw my friends drink and knew I could not, but I
schooled myself to believe that though I once had the same privilege, I had abused it
so frightfully that it was withdrawn.
34.
I talked with him for some time, but was not able to bring myself to feel that I had known him before.
35.
36.
Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him:
"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
37.
38.
The 164 and More™ Book, eBook, and Web Site
are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book
Alcoholics Anonymous, the
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,
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Inc., or the A.A. Grapevine, Inc. Further A.A.W.S. Inc. and the A.A.
Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the
164 and More concordance.
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