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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
There are many.
2.
Have we alcoholics in A.A.
got, or can we get, the resources to meet these calamities which come to so
many?
3.
4.
5.
Many a distracted wife has visited this house to find loving and understanding
companionship among women who knew her problem, to hear from the lips of their husbands what had
happened to them, to be advised how her own wayward mate might be hospitalized and approached when next he stumbled.
6.
Or we may just procrastinate, telling
ourselves the time is not
yet, when in reality we have
already passed up many a fine
chance to right a serious wrong.
7.
We know these suggestions
are sometimes difficult to follow, but you
will save many a heartbreak if you can succeed in observing them.
8.
9.
Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has
stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.
10.
11.
He may bring new hope and new courage to many a priest, minister, or rabbi, who gives his all to minister to our troubled world.
12.
Many a razor-edged question can arise in other departments of life where
this same principle is involved.
13.
This very form of faulty dependence has caused many a rebellious alcoholic to
conclude that dependence of any sort must be intolerably damaging.
14.
So intense, though, is our
fear and reluctance to do
this, that many A.A.'s at first try to bypass Step Five.
15.
16.
17.
18.
19.
20.
Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems
that they will be persuaded
to say, "Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing."
21.
22.
23.
24.
However, because the book has
helped so many alcoholics find recovery, there exists strong sentiment within the Fellowship against any change to it.
25.
... many alcoholics
have nevertheless concluded that in ...
BB
Appendix II, Spiritual Experience, p.567
Though it was not our intention to create such an impression, many alcoholics have nevertheless concluded
that in order to recover
they must acquire an immediate and overwhelming "God-consciousness" followed at once by a vast change in feeling and outlook.
26.
Prior to his journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic, but he had succeeded only in keeping
sober himself.
27.
By a great deal of ardent Twelfth Step work we sometimes carry the message to so many alcoholics that they place
us in a position of trust.
28.
And if these are facts of life
for the many alcoholics
who have recovered in A.A.,
they can become the facts of
life for many more.
29.
Many an A.A., once agnostic or atheistic, tells us that it
was during this stage of Step Five that he first actually felt the presence of God.
30.
Committees have instructed many an A.A. to stop working on a chronic backslider, only to be told:
"How I do my Twelfth Step work is my business.
31.
"As psychiatrists have often observed, defiance is the outstanding characteristic of many an
alcoholic.
32.
33.
34.
The idea that we can be possessively loving of a
few, can ignore the many, and can continue to fear or hate anybody, has to be abandoned, if only a little
at a time.
35.
36.
37.
38.
He had a desperate desire
to stop, but saw no way out, for
he had earnestly tried
many avenues of escape.
39.
40.
41.
We gloated over the hypocrisy, bigotry, and crushing self-righteousness that clung
to so many 'believers' even in their Sunday best.
42.
Whereupon we tried A.A. hospitals -- they all bogged down because you cannot put an A.A. group into business; too many busybody cooks spoil the broth.
43.
44.
Countless times, in as
many cities and hamlets, we reenacted the
story of Eddie Rickenbacker and his courageous company when
their plane crashed in the
Pacific.
45.
46.
47.
48.
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are
used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism
has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
49.
The basic principles of
the A.A. program, it appears, hold good for individuals with
many different lifestyles, just as the program has brought recovery to those of many different nationalities.
50.
The basic principles of
the A.A. program, it appears, hold good for individuals with
many different lifestyles, just as the program has brought recovery to those of many different nationalities.
51.
After they have succumbed
to the desire again, as so
many do, and the phenomenon of craving develops, they pass through the well-known stages of a spree, emerging remorseful, with a firm resolution not to drink again.
52.
53.
54.
One of the many doctors who had the opportunity of reading
this book in manuscript form told us that the use of sweets was often helpful, of course depending upon a doctor's advice.
55.
56.
57.
Among many employers nowadays, we think of one member who has spent much of his life in the world of big business.
58.
59.
We commenced to make many fast friends and a fellowship
has grown up among us of which it is a wonderful thing to feel a part.
60.
61.
Consequently, many groups began to hold meetings which were open to interested friends and the public, so
that the average citizen
could see for himself just what A.A. was all about.
62.
The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity of material blessings that
many have come to believe that a man-made millennium lies just ahead.
63.
64.
In many homes this is a difficult thing to do, but it
must be done if any results are to be expected.
65.
66.
When many hundreds of people are able to say that the consciousness
of the Presence of God is today the most important fact of their lives, they present a powerful reason why one should have faith.
67.
68.
69.
Small wonder many in the medical profession have a low opinion of alcoholics and
their chance for recovery!
70.
Seven percent of the A.A.'s surveyed are less than 30 years of age -- among them, many in their teens.
71.
With many individuals the
methods which I employed
are successful, but I have never been successful with
an alcoholic of your description."(*)
72.
73.
74.
In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has.
75.
76.
77.
Literature has played a
major role in A.A.'s growth, and a striking phenomenon of
the past quarter-century has been the explosion of translations of our basic
literature into many languages and dialects.
78.
Many less desperate alcoholics tried A.A., but did not succeed because they could
not make the admission of
hopelessness.
79.
Possibly, too, we were still handicapped by many liabilities, great and small, we never knew we had.
80.
Being possessed of a spiritual experience,
the alcoholic will find he has much in common with these people, though he may differ with them
on many matters.
81.
82.
83.
But how many men and women speak love with their lips, and believe what they say, so that
they can hide lust in a dark corner of their minds?
84.
I have had many men who had, for
example, worked a period of months on some problem or business deal which was to be settled on
a certain date, favorably to them.
85.
86.
87.
88.
And if these are facts of life
for the many alcoholics
who have recovered in A.A.,
they can become the facts of
life for many more.
89.
90.
Many mornings I have gone to classes, and even though fully prepared, would turn and walk back to the fraternity house because of my jitters, not daring to enter the classroom for fear of making a scene should I be called on for
recitation.
91.
It may mean the loss of many nights' sleep, great interference with your pleasures, interruptions to your business.
92.
Though the essays which follow were written mainly for members, it is thought by many of A.A.'s friends that these pieces might arouse interest and find application outside A.A. itself.
93.
94.
In the spring of 1940, John D. Rockefeller, Jr. gave a dinner for many of his friends to which he invited
A.A. members to tell their stories.
95.
All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as
many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds.
96.
Many of our friends encourage us by saying that
this is but a beginning, only the augury of a much larger future ahead.
97.
98.
Though it is infinitely
better that he have no relapse at all, as has been true
with many of our men, it is by no means a bad
thing in some cases.
99.
But we soon discovered
that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness.
100.
101.
Some will object to many of the questions posed, because they think their own character defects have not
been so glaring.
102.
(*) Written in 1939, when
there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic
in the home is likely to be
the husband. But many of the
suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic -- whether she is
still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.
103.
We have experienced many
of them.
104.
105.
We doubt if many of them can do
it, because none will really want to stop, and hardly one of them, because of the peculiar mental twist already acquired, will find he can win out.
106.
There are those, too, who suffer from grave emotional and mental disorders, but many of them do
recover if they have the capacity to be honest.
107.
In all these strivings, so many of them well-intentioned, our crippling handicap had
been our lack of humility.
108.
First of all, we had to admit
that we had many of these defects, even though such disclosures were painful
and humiliating.
109.
At first many of these feel lonely, hurt, and left out as they witness so much domestic happiness about them.
110.
111.
We cannot subscribe to the belief that this life is a vale of tears, though it once was just that for many of us.
112.
113.
Many of us also like the experience of an occasional retreat from
the outside world where we
can quiet down for an undisturbed day or so of self-overhaul and meditation.
114.
These were the new attitudes
that finally brought many of us an inner strength and peace that could
not be deeply shaken by the
shortcomings of others
or by any calamity not of our
own making.
115.
To be sure, we feel it is something that might help us
to meet an occasional emergency, but at first many of us are apt to regard it as a somewhat mysterious skill of clergymen, from which we may hope to get a secondhand benefit.
116.
At Step Six, many of us balked -- for the practical reason that we did
not wish to have all our defects of character removed, because we still loved some of them too much.
117.
118.
119.
When evening comes, perhaps just before going to sleep, many of us draw up a balance sheet for the day.
120.
121.
122.
123.
Many of us had moral and philosophical convictions galore, but we
could not live up to them even though we would have liked to.
124.
Next we launched out on a course of vigorous action, the first step of which is a personal housecleaning, which many
of us had never attempted.
125.
126.
Many of us have been so touchy
that even casual reference to spiritual things made us bristle with antagonism.
127.
128.
129.
The emphasis on inventory is heavy only because a great many of us have never really acquired the habit of accurate self-appraisal.
130.
131.
But it is from our twisted relations with family, friends, and society at large that many of us have suffered the most.
132.
133.
134.
135.
136.
Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him:
"God, I offer myself to Thee -- to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt.
137.
138.
139.
140.
141.
142.
143.
If a mere code of morals or a better philosophy of life were sufficient to overcome alcoholism, many of us would
have recovered long ago.
144.
There are many opportunities even for those of us who feel unable to speak at meetings or who are so situated that we cannot do much
face-to-face Twelfth Step work.
145.
The next three years I spent in Boston, Chicago, and Montreal in the employ of a
large manufacturing concern, selling railway supplies, gas engines of all sorts, and many other items of heavy hardware.
146.
All these, and many others,
have one symptom in common: they cannot start drinking without developing the phenomenon of craving.
147.
He often says that if he had continued to work on them, he
might have deprived many others, who have since recovered, of their chance.
148.
After many painful discussions, they
finally gave me my credits and I migrated to another of the leading universities of the country and entered as a Junior that Fall.
149.
150.
In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact
that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority.
151.
152.
And even while staying within conventional bounds,
many people have to admit that their imaginary sex excursions are apt to be all dressed up as dreams of romance.
153.
154.
To a degree, he has already
done this when taking moral inventory, but now the time has come when he ought to redouble his efforts to see how many people he has hurt, and in what
ways.
155.
156.
Many people, nonalcoholics, report
that as a result of the practice of A.A.'s Twelve Steps, they have been able to meet other difficulties of life.
157.
News of this got on the world wires; inquiries poured in again and many people went to the bookstores to get the book "Alcoholics Anonymous."
158.
159.
All sections of this country and many of its occupations are represented, as well as
many political, economic, social, and religious backgrounds.
160.
They have become persuaded, and rightly so,
that many problems besides alcohol will not yield to a headlong assault powered by the individual
alone.
161.
On the other hand -- and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand
-- once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of
ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only
effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
162.
We have been considering so many problems that it may appear that A.A. consists mainly of racking dilemmas and troubleshooting.
163.
164.
We realize that the word "dependence" is as distasteful to many psychiatrists and psychologists as it is to alcoholics.
165.
166.
... many readers
the impression that these personality ...
BB
Appendix II, Spiritual Experience, p.567
Yet it is true that our first printing gave many readers the impression
that these personality changes, or religious experiences, must be in the
nature of sudden and spectacular upheavals.
167.
168.
169.
170.
Father knows he is to blame; it may take him many seasons of hard work to be restored financially,
but he shouldn't be reproached.
171.
172.
There are many situations
which arise out of the phenomenon of craving
which cause men to make the supreme sacrifice rather than continue to fight.
173.
We can be the ones who take on
the unspectacular but important tasks that make good Twelfth Step work possible, perhaps arranging for the
coffee and cake after the meetings, where so
many skeptical, suspicious newcomers
have found confidence and
comfort in the laughter
and talk.
174.
Most of us must admit that we
have loved but a few; that we
have been quite indifferent to the many so
long as none of them gave us trouble; and as for the
remainder -- well, we have
really disliked or hated them.
175.
We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when
we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree
of stability, happiness and usefulness
which we should have sought ourselves.
176.
177.
178.
179.
That was great news to us, for
we had assumed we could not make use of spiritual principles unless we accepted many things on faith which seemed difficult to believe.
180.
Drinking occasionally, and understanding your own reactions, it is possible
for you to become quite sure of many things which, so far as the alcoholic is concerned,
are not always so.
181.
182.
The A.A. groups, many thought, could go into business, might finance any enterprise whatever in
the total field of alcoholism.
183.
184.
185.
We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy
will be done."
186.
How many times have we heard well-intentioned people claim the guidance of God when it was all too plain that
they were sorely mistaken.
187.
188.
189.
The terms "spiritual experience" and "spiritual awakening" are
used many times in this book which, upon careful reading, shows that the personality change sufficient to bring about recovery from alcoholism
has manifested itself among us in many different forms.
190.
It is probably true that you
and your husband have been living too much alone, for drinking many times isolates the wife of an alcoholic.
191.
192.
193.
Powerfully, blindly,
many times subtly, they drive us, dominate us, and insist upon ruling our lives.
194.
Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.
195.
196.
He relies upon the assurance that his many troubles, now made more acute because he cannot use alcohol to kill the pain, can be solved, too.
197.
198.
199.
200.
201.
202.
Provided they were willing -- and many were -- why shouldn't their membership
be publicized, thereby
encouraging others to
join us?
203.
Despite all we can say, many who are real alcoholics are not going to
believe they are in that class.
204.
205.
Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object of life.
206.
207.
208.
209.
210.
211.
Many years ago one of the leading contributors to
this book came under our care in this hospital and while here he acquired some ideas which he put into practical application
at once.
212.
As we look back, we feel we had gone on drinking many years beyond the point where we could quit on our
will power.
213.
I say this after many years' experience as Medical Director of one of the oldest hospitals in the country treating alcoholic and drug addiction.
214.
We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.
215.
But this was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard's experiences
known to man, but who had been
cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the spiritual approach.
216.
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