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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
2.
Nothing more.
3.
4.
5.
Some of us veered from extreme to extreme, ever hoping that one day our loved ones would be themselves once more.
6.
For a while they would be their old sweet selves, only to dash the new structure of affection to pieces once more.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
12.
13.
Once we have placed the key of willingness in the lock and have the door ever so slightly open, we find that we can always open it some more.
14.
And if these are facts of life
for the many alcoholics
who have recovered in A.A.,
they can become the facts of
life for many more.
15.
Through it we begin to learn right relations with people who understand us; we don't have to be alone any more.
16.
But I think I speak for everyone here when I say that what you now propose bothers us an awful lot more.'
17.
18.
During this process of learning more about humility, the most profound
result of all was the change
in our attitude toward God.
19.
Admit that he probably knows more about it than you do,
but call to his attention
the fact that however deep his
faith and knowledge, he
could not have applied it or he would not drink.
20.
All changes made over the years in the Big Book (A.A.
members' fond nickname for this volume)
have had the same purpose: to
represent the current membership of Alcoholics Anonymous
more accurately, and thereby to reach more alcoholics.
21.
22.
23.
24.
He relies upon the assurance that his many troubles, now made more acute because he cannot use alcohol to kill the pain, can be solved, too.
25.
We are much more afraid of what people might say than the trouble this strange alcoholic might bring.
26.
All changes made over the years in the Big Book (A.A.
members' fond nickname for this volume)
have had the same purpose: to
represent the current membership of Alcoholics Anonymous
more accurately, and thereby to reach more alcoholics.
27.
He had lived there but a few weeks when he found that the place probably contained more alcoholics per square mile than any city in the country.
28.
29.
30.
31.
It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from
the pains of growing up.
32.
You draw more and more into yourself and you think everyone is talking about conditions
at your home.
33.
Nevertheless, we find
that our thinking will, as
time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration.
34.
Surveys of groups in the United States and Canada indicate that A.A. is reaching out, not only to more and more people, but to a wider and wider range.
35.
My whole life seemed to be centered around doing what I wanted to do, without regard for the rights, wishes, or privileges of anyone else; a state of mind which became more and more predominant as the years passed.
36.
But in the longer run we clearly realize that these
are only the pains of growing up, and nothing but good can come from them if we turn more and more to the entire Twelve Steps for the answers.
37.
38.
39.
40.
Before long, your listener may well tell a story or two about himself which will place you even more at ease.
41.
42.
43.
44.
Anger, that occasional luxury of more balanced people, could keep us on an emotional jag indefinitely.
45.
46.
In the early days of our drinking we occasionally remained
sober for a year or more, becoming serious drinkers again later.
47.
48.
No individuals have been
more buffeted by such emotional gusts than those A.A.'s bold enough to accept employment with outside agencies dealing with the alcohol problem.
49.
In imagination the gleaming center was to go up several
stories more, but three would do for a start.
50.
51.
52.
53.
54.
55.
In recent years some members and friends of A.A. have asked if it would be wise to update the language, idioms, and historical references
in the book to present a
more contemporary image for the Fellowship.
56.
Despite this certainty,
it is nevertheless true
that few subjects have been
the cause of more contention within our Fellowship than professionalism.
57.
But also like others, we often discover a greater challenge in the lesser and
more continuous problems of life.
58.
Why don't you try some more controlled drinking, bearing in mind meanwhile what we have told you about alcoholism?"
59.
60.
61.
With each passing day of our lives, may every one of us sense more deeply the inner meaning of A.A.'s simple prayer:
62.
63.
By this time in all probability we have gained
some measure of release
from our more devastating
handicaps.
64.
We believe there isn't a fellowship on earth which lavishes more devoted care upon its individual members; surely there is none which more jealously guards the individual's right to think, talk, and act as he wishes.
65.
It may turn out, however, that
you'll choose someone else for the more difficult and deeper revelations.
66.
67.
Those of us who have come to make regular use of prayer would no more do without it than we would refuse air, food, or sunshine.
68.
69.
Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the
humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions
when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied
us?
70.
Let it be noted, too, that they
were almost always concerned with ways to make A.A. more
effective, how to do the most good for the most alcoholics.
71.
72.
73.
It will become more and more evident as we go forward that it is pointless to become angry, or to get hurt by people who, like us, are suffering from
the pains of growing up.
74.
This doesn't mean an A.A. won't take advice or suggestions from more experienced members, but
he surely won't take orders.
75.
More experienced people, of course, in all times and places have practiced unsparing self-survey and criticism.
76.
77.
78.
It resulted in more favorable publicity of Alcoholics Anonymous
than could possibly have been obtained through all the arts and abilities of A.A.'s best press agents.
79.
Well, just that did happen and more, for what I had
learned of alcoholism
did not occur to me at all.
80.
81.
Now let's ponder the need for a list of the more glaring personality defects all of us have in varying degrees.
82.
Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the
humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions
when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied
us?
83.
Our main problem is not how
we are to stay married; it is
how to be more happily married by eliminating
the severe emotional twists that have so often stemmed from alcoholism.
84.
This had little effect
however for I kept on drinking and used a great deal more hard liquor than in former years.
85.
We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring
about still more harm in so doing.
86.
There will be those to whom we
can make only partial restitution, lest complete disclosures do
them or others more harm than good.
87.
It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a
better attitude toward him, we are still not too
keen about admitting our faults.
88.
89.
As an insurance against
"big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is
far more His success than ours.
90.
More realism and therefore more honesty about ourselves are
the great gains we make under the influence of Step Five.
91.
92.
But when he gets over the spree, he begins to think once more how he can drink moderately next time.
93.
94.
95.
And the truth, strange to say, is usually that he has no more idea
why he took that first drink than you have.
96.
Of far more importance was the fact that
he was the first living human with whom I had ever talked, who knew what he was talking about in regard to alcoholism from actual experience.
97.
Even more important, an empty club couldn't answer its telephone, but it was an open invitation to a drunk on a binge who possessed a spare key.
98.
A much more important demonstration of our principles lies before us in our respective
homes, occupations and
affairs.
99.
Still more important, murmurs are heard in the body politic, which swell into a loud cry: "Do these oldtimers think they can run this group forever?
100.
When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity
for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence
looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable
fears.
101.
102.
We were having trouble with personal relationships, we couldn't control our emotional natures, we were a prey to misery and depression, we
couldn't make a living, we had
a feeling of uselessness, we were full of
fear, we were unhappy, we
couldn't seem to be of real help to other people -- was not a basic solution of these bedevilments more important than whether we
should see newsreels of lunar flight?
103.
If you have a drinking problem, we hope that you may pause in reading one of the forty-two personal stories and think: "Yes, that happened to me"; or,
more important, "Yes, I've felt like that"; or, most important, "Yes, I believe this program can work for me too."
104.
But we soon discovered
that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness.
105.
When by devoted service to
family, friends, business, or community we
attract widespread affection and are sometimes singled out for posts of greater responsibility
and trust, we try to be humbly grateful and exert ourselves the more in a spirit of love and service.
106.
They believe in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death.
107.
108.
By so accepting our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves more independent personally.
109.
And the facts seem to be these:
The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually
are.
110.
111.
112.
4. Because every time I do it I take out a little more insurance for myself against a possible slip.
113.
114.
He is going to be more interested in a demonstration of good will than in our talk of spiritual discoveries.
115.
You draw more and more into yourself and you think everyone is talking about conditions
at your home.
116.
So when A.A. suggests a fearless moral inventory, it must seem to every newcomer that more is being asked of him than he can
do.
117.
In all these instances, and more, it was claimed that A.A. knowledge and experience were being sold for money, hence these people, too, were professionals.
118.
We believe there isn't a fellowship on earth which lavishes more devoted care upon its individual members; surely there is none which more jealously guards the individual's right to think, talk, and act as he wishes.
119.
120.
As we approach the actual
taking of Step Seven, it might be well if we A.A.'s inquire once more just what our deeper objectives are.
121.
122.
Before we leveled off a bit, A.A. looked more like one prodigious squabble than
anything else, at least on the surface.
123.
124.
125.
126.
My phobia for sleeplessness demanded
that I get drunk every night, but in order to get more liquor for the next night, I had to stay sober during the day, at least up to four o'clock.
127.
128.
This world of ours has made more material progress in the last century than in all the millenniums which went before.
129.
130.
It was really a horrible
nightmare, this earning
money, getting liquor, smuggling it home, getting drunk, morning jitters, taking large doses of sedatives to make it possible for me to earn more money, and so on ad nauseam.
131.
The exercise of an option
brought in more money, leaving us with a profit of several thousand dollars for that year.
132.
133.
They comfort the melancholy one by first showing him that his case is not strange or different, that his character defects are probably not more numerous or worse than those of anyone else in A.A.
134.
As soon as he begins to be
more objective, the newcomer can fearlessly,
rather than fearfully, look at his own defects.
135.
136.
137.
138.
This atmosphere of approval and praise is apt to be so exhilarating as
to put us off balance by creating an insatiable appetite for more of the same.
139.
Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required
just for sobriety, they still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy.
140.
141.
Questions like these, more of which will come to mind easily in each individual case, will help turn up the root causes.
142.
143.
More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as
he has then a better chance
of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.
144.
More often than not, these onslaughts were spearheaded by the cry "Professionalism! That guy
is making money out of A.A.!"
145.
More often, though, we had met up with some major calamity, and to our way of thinking lost out because God deserted us.
146.
Nevertheless, we find
that our thinking will, as
time passes, be more and more on the plane of inspiration.
147.
We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the
more resentful they become.
148.
If all our lives we had more or
less fooled ourselves, how could we now be
so sure that we weren't still self-deceived?
149.
From childhood through
high school I was more or less forced to go to church, Sunday School and evening service, Monday night Christian Endeavor and sometimes to
Wednesday evening prayer meeting.
150.
151.
152.
153.
We have drunk to escape the
guilt of passions, and then
have drunk again to make more passions possible.
154.
Surveys of groups in the United States and Canada indicate that A.A. is reaching out, not only to more and more people, but to a wider and wider range.
155.
Here are some of the methods
we have tried: Drinking beer only, limiting the number of drinks, never drinking alone, never drinking in the morning, drinking only at home, never having it in the house, never drinking during business hours, drinking only at parties, switching from scotch to brandy, drinking only natural wines, agreeing to resign if ever drunk on the job, taking a trip, not taking a trip, swearing off forever (with
and without a solemn oath), taking more physical exercise, reading inspirational books, going to health farms and sanitariums, accepting voluntary commitment to asylums --
we could increase the list
ad infinitum.
156.
157.
158.
My whole life seemed to be centered around doing what I wanted to do, without regard for the rights, wishes, or privileges of anyone else; a state of mind which became more and more predominant as the years passed.
159.
By now, though, the chances are that he has become
convinced that he has more
problems than alcohol,
and that some of these refuse to be solved by all the sheer personal determination
and courage he can muster.
160.
I used to promise my wife, my friends, and my children that I would drink no more -- promises which seldom kept me sober even through the day, though I was very sincere when I made them.
161.
I was, of course, soon on the
carpet and the upshot was
that I had to go back for two more quarters and remain absolutely dry, if I wished to graduate.
162.
More realism and therefore more honesty about ourselves are
the great gains we make under the influence of Step Five.
163.
164.
165.
166.
167.
We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves
with another person when we
see good reasons why we should do so.
168.
169.
We find the more one member of the family demands that the others concede to him, the
more resentful they become.
170.
Hence we are at pains to tell why we think our present faith is reasonable, why we think it more sane and logical to believe than not
to believe, why we say our former thinking was soft and mushy when we threw up our hands in doubt and said, "We don't know."
171.
When they drive us blindly,
or we willfully demand
that they supply us with more
satisfactions or pleasures than are possible or due us, that is the
point at which we depart from
the degree of perfection
that God wishes for us here on earth.
172.
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
173.
Since defective relations with other human beings have nearly always been the immediate cause of our woes, including our alcoholism, no field of investigation
could yield more satisfying and valuable
rewards than this one.
174.
She sees she was wrong to make a burning issue out of such a matter when his more serious ailments were being rapidly cured.
175.
Post-war disillusionment, ever
more serious alcoholism, impending mental and physical collapse, brought him to the
point of self-destruction.
176.
177.
Then we have the voices who cry
for sex and more sex; who bewail the institution of marriage;
who think that most of the troubles of the race are traceable to sex causes.
178.
179.
More sobriety brought about by the admission of alcoholism
and by attendance at a few
meetings is very good indeed, but it is bound to be a far cry from permanent sobriety and a contented,
useful life.
180.
The roadblocks of indifference, fancied self-sufficiency, prejudice, and defiance often prove more solid and formidable for these people
than any erected by the unconvinced agnostic or
even the militant atheist.
181.
While the comment or advice of others may be by no means infallible, it is likely to
be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still so inexperienced in
establishing contact
with a Power greater than ourselves.
182.
183.
184.
Finally, when all our score
cards read 'zero,' and we saw that one more strike would put us out of the game forever, we had to look for our
lost faith.
185.
186.
Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by
foolishly admitting
his plight to people from
whom he made his livelihood?
187.
One more suggestion: Whether the family has spiritual convictions or not, they may do well to examine the principles by which the alcoholic member is trying to live.
188.
If at these points our emotional disturbance
happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance, provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular
prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation.
189.
190.
By March 1976, when this edition went to the printer, the total worldwide membership of
Alcoholics Anonymous
was conservatively estimated at more than 1,000,000, with almost 28,000 groups meeting in over 90 countries.
191.
192.
193.
The first edition appeared in April 1939, and in the following sixteen years, more than 300,000 copies went into circulation.
194.
To 1950, the year of his death, he carried the A.A. message to more than 5,000 alcoholic men and women, and to all these he gave
his medical services without thought of charge.
195.
It was only at the end of a long
road, marked by successive defeats and humiliations, and the final crushing of our self-sufficiency, that we began to feel humility as something
more than a condition of groveling despair.
196.
197.
In all probability, we shall never be able to touch more than a fair fraction of the alcohol problem in all its ramifications.
198.
199.
200.
201.
202.
203.
204.
Some of them may sink and perhaps never get up, but if our experience is a criterion, more than half of those approached will become fellows of Alcoholics Anonymous.
205.
Even our severest and most
justified critics will frequently meet us more than halfway on the first trial.
206.
207.
208.
209.
But long ago, trustees and staff members alike found they could do no more than make suggestions, and very mild ones at that.
210.
211.
212.
Women now make up more
than one-fourth of the membership; among newer members, the proportion is nearly one-third.
213.
We, of Alcoholics Anonymous, are more than one hundred men and women who have recovered from a seemingly hopeless state of mind and body.
214.
Alcoholics Anonymous
is a worldwide fellowship of more than one hundred thousand(*) alcoholic men and women who are banded together to solve their common problems and to help fellow sufferers in recovery from that age-old, baffling malady, alcoholism.
215.
For thousands of years we
have been demanding more
than our share of security,
prestige, and romance.
216.
217.
As this trend grew, they were
joined by young people who were scarcely
more than potential alcoholics.
218.
219.
220.
221.
222.
223.
224.
225.
226.
227.
"As material success founded upon no more than these ordinary attributes began to come to us, we felt we were winning at the game of life.
228.
Having been neglected and misused in the past, they think father owes them more than they are getting.
229.
230.
For no people have ever loved personal triumphs more than we have loved them; we drank of success as of a wine which could never fail to make us feel elated.
231.
Her husband may become so
wrapped up in A.A. and his new friends that he is inconsiderately away
from home more than when he drank.
232.
233.
You should not be offended if he wants to call it off, for he has
helped you more than you have
helped him.
234.
235.
236.
While grateful that he drinks no more, they may not like the idea that God has accomplished the miracle
where they failed.
237.
238.
During those first days of convalescence, this will
do more to insure his sobriety than anything else.
239.
But in the longer run we clearly realize that these
are only the pains of growing up, and nothing but good can come from them if we turn more and more to the entire Twelve Steps for the answers.
240.
We feel, after many years of experience, that we have found nothing which has contributed more to the rehabilitation of these men than the altruistic movement now growing up among them.
241.
Disliking the attempt of
some to manage a group, half its membership might angrily
rush off to form another group more to their liking.
242.
243.
244.
245.
Strangely enough, wives, parents and intimate friends usually find us even more unapproachable than do the psychiatrist and the doctor.
246.
Who is more unpopular than
the oldtime A.A., full of wisdom, who moves to another area and tries to tell the group there how to run its business?
247.
Therefore, no society of men and women ever had a more urgent need for continuous effectiveness and permanent unity.
248.
If we have swept the searchlight of Step Four back and forth over our careers, and it has revealed
in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember, if we
have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt us and others, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever.
249.
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
250.
Most of us sense that real tolerance of other people's shortcomings and
viewpoints and a respect for their opinions
are attitudes which make us
more useful to others.
251.
252.
Like so much of A.A.'s basic text, those words have proved to be far more visionary than the founding members could ever have imagined.
253.
254.
255.
256.
And the facts seem to be these:
The more we become willing to depend upon a Higher Power, the more independent we actually
are.
257.
When we developed still
more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself.
258.
259.
260.
261.
Since the third edition was
published in 1976, worldwide membership of
A.A. has just about doubled, to an estimated two million or more, with nearly 100,800 groups meeting in approximately 150 countries around the world.
262.
I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a
way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.
263.
Still more wonderful is the feeling
that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our
fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy.
264.
265.
266.
Wait until repeated stumbling convinces him he must act, for the more you hurry him the longer his recovery may be delayed.
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