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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
Prior to his journey to Akron, the broker had worked hard with many alcoholics on the theory that only an alcoholic could help an alcoholic, but he had succeeded only in keeping
sober himself.
2.
He wasn't himself.
3.
But my friend sat before me, and he made the point-blank declaration that God had done for him what he could not do for himself.
4.
He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long way from admitting that he
could do nothing about it himself.
5.
6.
In our personal stories
you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which
is greater than himself.
7.
8.
9.
For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and
miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
10.
11.
12.
Tell him enough about your drinking habits, symptoms, and experiences to encourage him to speak of
himself.
13.
14.
15.
16.
If this kind of approach
does not catch your husband's interest, it may
be best to drop the subject, but after a friendly talk your husband will usually revive the topic himself.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
22.
He fools himself.
23.
24.
25.
They help others with similar problems ... In this
atmosphere the alcoholic often overcomes his excessive
concentration upon
himself.
26.
No, the average alcoholic, self-centered in the extreme,
doesn't care for this prospect -- unless he has to
do these things in order to
stay alive himself.
27.
28.
29.
Yet no alcoholic, soberly analyzing his destructive behavior, whether the destruction
fell on the dining-room furniture or his own moral fiber, can claim "soundness of mind" for himself.
30.
31.
32.
33.
In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he
has laid hold of a source of strength which, in
one way or another, he had hitherto denied himself.
34.
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself.
35.
He interrupted to scoff
at this and asserted he'd fix
his wife, his partner, and
his alcoholism by himself.
36.
He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not
include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.
37.
38.
He finally realizes that
he has undergone a profound alteration in
his reaction to life; that
such a change could hardly have been brought about
by himself alone.
39.
40.
Instead of treating the
family as he should, he may retreat further into himself and feel he has spiritual justification for so doing.
41.
All by himself, and in the light of his own circumstances, he needs
to develop the quality of
willingness.
42.
A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.
43.
The main thing is that he be willing to believe in a Power greater than himself and that he live by spiritual principles.
44.
Even the chief architect, standing in the
ruins of his dream, could laugh at himself -- and that is
the very acme of humility.
45.
He uses his gifts to build up a bright outlook for his family and himself, and then pulls the structure down on his head by a senseless series of sprees.
46.
47.
48.
When this sort of thinking
is fully established in
an individual with alcoholic tendencies, he
has probably placed himself beyond human aid, and unless locked up, may die or go
permanently insane.
49.
Going to the extreme, he can
become a miser, or even a recluse who denies himself both family and friends.
50.
He did not design man to destroy himself by alcohol, but He did give man instincts to help him to stay alive.
51.
But the ex-problem drinker who has found this solution, who is properly
armed with facts about himself, can generally win the entire confidence of another alcoholic in a few hours.
52.
The alcoholic, realizing what his wife has endured, and now fully understanding how
much he himself did to damage her and his children,
nearly always takes up his marriage responsibilities with a willingness to repair what
he can and to accept what he can't.
53.
54.
55.
On the other hand -- and strange as this may seem to those who do not understand
-- once a psychic change has occurred, the very same person who seemed doomed, who had so many problems he despaired of
ever solving them, suddenly finds himself easily able to control his desire for alcohol, the only
effort necessary being that required to follow a few simple rules.
56.
The Episcopal magazine,
The Living Church, observes editorially:
"The basis of the technique of Alcoholics
Anonymous is the truly Christian principle that
a man cannot help himself except by helping others.
57.
58.
59.
In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are
abnormal, but everybody
hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy and assert his power of will.
60.
Therefore, we are not to be the hasty and foolish martyr who would needlessly
sacrifice others to save himself from the alcoholic pit.
61.
62.
63.
64.
Even when he wanted to assert himself he could not, for
his drinking placed him constantly in the wrong.
65.
If the alcoholic tries to
shield himself he may succeed for a time, but he usually winds up with a bigger explosion then ever.
66.
67.
Faced with this problem, if
a doctor is honest with
himself, he must sometimes feel his own inadequacy.
68.
69.
70.
71.
Learning to depend upon a higher power and absorb himself in his work with other alcoholics, he remains sober day by day.
72.
2. For our group purpose
there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.
73.
Two -- For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience.
74.
Two -- For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders are but trusted servants; they do not govern.
75.
Tradition Two -- "For our group purpose there is but one ultimate authority -- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders
are but trusted servants;
they do not govern."
76.
"For our group purpose there
is but one ultimate authority -- a loving God as He may express Himself in our group conscience. Our leaders
are but trusted servants;
they do not govern."
77.
He finds himself in possession of a degree of
honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, peace of
mind, and love of which he had
thought himself quite incapable.
78.
Then he had gone to Europe, placing himself in the care of a celebrated physician (the psychiatrist, Dr. Jung) who prescribed for him.
79.
80.
These practical folk then
read Tradition Two, and learn that the sole authority in A.A. is a loving God as He may express Himself in the group conscience.
81.
This should be an entirely personal affair which each one decides for himself in the light of past associations, or his present choice.
82.
The alcoholic may say to
himself in the most casual way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!"
83.
When writing or speaking
publicly about alcoholism, we urge each of our Fellowship to omit his personal name, designating himself instead as "a member of Alcoholics Anonymous."
84.
Consequently, many groups began to hold meetings which were open to interested friends and the public, so
that the average citizen
could see for himself just what A.A. was all about.
85.
86.
87.
88.
89.
They sound like the philosophy of the man who,
having a headache, beats
himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the
ache.
90.
Surely, then, a novice ought not lay himself open to the chance of making foolish, perhaps tragic, blunders in this fashion.
91.
The alcoholic, his wife,
his children, his "in-laws",
each one is likely to have fixed ideas about the family's attitude towards himself or herself.
92.
93.
He finds himself in possession of a degree of
honesty, tolerance, unselfishness, peace of
mind, and love of which he had
thought himself quite incapable.
94.
What he has received is a free gift, and yet usually, at least in some small part, he has made himself ready to receive it.
95.
96.
Every newcomer in Alcoholics Anonymous is
told, and soon realizes for himself, that his
humble admission of powerlessness over alcohol is his first step toward liberation from its paralyzing grip.
97.
98.
But later, alone in his room, he asked himself this question: "Is it possible that all the religious people I have known are wrong?"
99.
Every doctor concerned would at times wish he could devote himself to his chosen field rather than work only with the group.
100.
101.
102.
In the doctor's judgment
he was utterly hopeless;
he could never regain his position in society and he
would have to place himself under lock and key or hire a bodyguard if he expected
to live long.
103.
104.
105.
Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.
106.
107.
Why did we leave it to each newcomer to decide himself whether he was an alcoholic
and whether he should join
us?
108.
Before long, your listener may well tell a story or two about himself which will place you even more at ease.
109.
The ability of each A.A. to identify himself with and bring recovery to the newcomer is
a gift from God... passing on this gift to others is our one aim.
110.
The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, eloquence, or on any special individual skills.
111.
112.
The 164 and More™ Book, eBook, and Web Site
are all CONCORDANCES which display passages from the Big Book
Alcoholics Anonymous, the
Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions,
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Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the
164 and More concordance.
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