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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
2.
3.
As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is
willing to believe, we emphatically assure him
that he is on his way.
4.
5.
6.
Each person is like an actor who wants to run the whole show; is forever trying to arrange the lights, the ballet, the scenery and the rest of the players in his own way.
7.
8.
9.
10.
He left us a note saying you were the best boss he ever had, and that you were
not to blame in any way."
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
Aided by such instruction and example
as we can find, it is essentially an individual adventure, something which each one of us works out in his own way.
16.
17.
18.
These are the growing group's hierarchy of service -- self-appointed, of course, because there is no other way.
19.
20.
Of alcoholics who came to
A.A. and really tried, 50% got
sober at once and remained that way; 25% sobered up after some relapses, and among the remainder, those who stayed on with A.A. showed improvement.
21.
So in a very complete and literal way, all A.A.'s have "become entirely ready" to have God remove the mania for alcohol from their lives.
22.
How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?"
23.
24.
25.
Finally my father had to send a doctor out from my home town who managed to get me back there in some way, and I was in bed about two months before I could venture out of the house.
26.
10. No A.A. group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial
issues -- particularly
those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion.
27.
Ten -- No A.A.
group or member should ever, in such a way as to implicate A.A., express any opinion on outside controversial
issues -- particularly
those of politics, alcohol reform, or sectarian religion.
28.
They had said that though I
did raise a defense, it
would one day give way before some trivial reason for having a drink.
29.
Looking back over his life, he can readily get under way by consideration of questions such as these:
30.
31.
32.
The unique ability of each A.A. to identify himself with, and
bring recovery to, the newcomer in no way depends upon his learning, eloquence, or on any special individual skills.
33.
In our personal stories
you will find a wide variation in the way each teller approaches and conceives of the Power which
is greater than himself.
34.
35.
Dr. Harry M. Tiebout, psychiatrist:
"As a psychiatrist, I have thought a great deal about the relationship
of my specialty to A.A. and I
have come to the conclusion that our particular function can
very often lie in preparing the way for the patient to accept any sort of treatment or outside help.
36.
We have seen A.A.'s ask with much earnestness and faith for
God's explicit guidance on matters ranging all the way from a shattering domestic or financial crisis to correcting a minor personal fault, like tardiness.
37.
He was interested and conceded that he had some of the symptoms, but he was a long
way from admitting that he
could do nothing about it himself.
38.
But he is yet a long way from making good to the wife or parents whom for years he has
so shockingly treated.
39.
Our demand for emotional
security, for our own way, had constantly thrown us into unworkable
relations with other people.
40.
Each individual, in the personal stories, describes in his own language and from his own point of view the way he established his relationship with God.
41.
In a matter of fact way he told how two men had appeared in court, persuading the judge to suspend his commitment.
42.
43.
He will also report that out of every season of grief or suffering, when the
hand of God seemed heavy or even unjust, new lessons for living were learned, new resources of courage were uncovered, and
that finally, inescapably, the conviction came that God does "move in a mysterious way His wonders to perform."
44.
45.
46.
47.
When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation -- some fact of my life -- unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment.
48.
They outline the means by
which A.A. maintains its unity and relates itself to the world about it, the way it lives and grows.
49.
The alcoholic may say to himself in the most casual
way, "It won't burn me this time, so here's how!"
50.
An illness of this sort --
and we have come to believe
it an illness -- involves
those about us in a way no other human sickness can.
51.
52.
Then perhaps life, as it has
a way of doing, suddenly hands us a great big lump that we can't begin to swallow, let alone digest.
53.
54.
55.
It may be that both will decide that the way of good sense and loving kindness is to let by-gones be by-gones.
56.
57.
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life.
58.
59.
60.
61.
In addition to these casual get-togethers, it became customary to set apart one night a week for a meeting to be attended by anyone or everyone interested in a spiritual way of life.
62.
63.
We have sometimes seen families broken apart by misunderstanding, tensions, or actual infidelity, who are reunited by the A.A. way of life.
64.
As soon as we begin to feel confident in our new way of life and have begun, by our behavior and example, to convince those about us that
we are indeed changing for
the better, it is usually
safe to talk in complete frankness with those who have been seriously
affected, even those who may be only a little
or not at all aware of what we have done to them.
65.
66.
A.A.'s Twelve Steps are a group of principles, spiritual in
their nature, which, if practiced as a way of life, can expel the obsession to drink and enable the sufferer to become happily and usefully whole.
67.
68.
69.
At first he goes along because he must, but later he discovers a way of life he really wants to live.
70.
I was to know happiness, peace, and usefulness, in a
way of life that is incredibly more wonderful as time passes.
71.
72.
As he gained confidence,
he felt it right to explain his new way of life to his employer and business associates.
73.
74.
75.
76.
They flatly declare that
since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves,
to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things, there has been a
revolutionary change
in their way of living and thinking.
77.
This may hang on for months,
long after their mother has accepted dad's new way
of living and thinking.
78.
79.
80.
I have since been brought into a way of living infinitely more satisfying and, I hope, more useful than the life I lived before.
81.
They experienced a few distressing failures,
but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual
way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering.
82.
But when we approach Step Ten we commence to put our A.A. way of living to practical use, day by day, in fair weather or foul.
83.
My friend promised when
these things were done I would
enter upon a new relationship with my Creator; that I would have the elements of a way of living which answered all my
problems.
84.
85.
Even the suggestion of such a thing never fails to whip up a hurricane, and we have discovered that hurricanes have a way of mauling with equal severity both the just and the unjust.
86.
I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in
the way of my usefulness
to you and my fellows.
87.
88.
So we clean house with the family, asking each morning in meditation that our Creator show us the way of patience, tolerance, kindliness
and love.
89.
Though there is no way of proving it, we believe that early in our drinking careers most of us
could have stopped drinking.
90.
For we had started to get perspective on ourselves, which is another
way of saying that we were gaining in humility.
91.
So Step Six -- "Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character" -- is
A.A.'s way of stating the best possible attitude one can take in order to make a beginning on this lifetime
job.
92.
93.
Either we were shy, and dared not draw near others, or we were apt to be noisy good fellows craving attention and companionship, but never
getting it -- at least to
our way of thinking.
94.
More often, though, we had met up with some major calamity, and to our way of thinking lost out because God deserted us.
95.
Perhaps the best way of treating you to a glimpse of your future will be to describe the growth of the fellowship among us.
96.
97.
98.
In a very real sense he has been transformed, because he
has laid hold of a source of strength which, in
one way or another, he had hitherto denied himself.
99.
100.
If he thinks he can do the job
in some other way, or prefers some other spiritual approach, encourage him to follow his
own conscience.
101.
102.
103.
They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may
spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.
104.
Under these compulsions
of self-preservation, duty, and love, it is not strange that our Society has
concluded that it has but one high mission -- to carry the A.A. message to those who don't know there's a
way out.
105.
He had a desperate desire
to stop, but saw no way out, for
he had earnestly tried many avenues of escape.
106.
We have a way out on which we can
absolutely agree, and upon which we can join in brotherly and harmonious
action.
107.
I could almost hear the sound of the preacher's voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather's
good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher's right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness
as he spoke of these things
just before he died; these recollections
welled up from the past.
108.
He goes on to explain that any person capable of enough willingness and honesty
to try repeatedly Step Six on all his faults -- without any reservations whatever -- has indeed come a long way spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be
called a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator.
109.
110.
111.
112.
113.
In a vague way their families and friends sense that these drinkers are
abnormal, but everybody
hopefully awaits the day when the sufferer will rouse himself from his lethargy
and assert his power of will.
114.
If the pursuit of wealth tramples upon people who happen to be in the
way, then anger, jealousy, and revenge are likely to be aroused.
115.
Though we did not like their
symptoms and the way these
disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
116.
117.
118.
If we are painstaking about this phase of our development,
we will be amazed before we are half way through.
119.
120.
121.
122.
123.
124.
Especially when he has before him a way to stop his drinking and abuse if he really wants to pay the price.
125.
126.
127.
With those we dislike we can
begin to practice justice and courtesy, perhaps going out of our way to understand and help them.
128.
129.
We have been talking about problems because we are problem people who have found a way up and out, and who wish to share our knowledge of that way with all
who can use it.
130.
If we keep on the way we are going there is little doubt that much good will result, but the surface of the
problem would hardly be scratched.
131.
In a perverse way we can actually take satisfaction from the fact
that many people annoy us, for it brings a comfortable feeling of superiority.
132.
133.
When temporary good fortune came our way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of
still greater victories over people and circumstances.
134.
To define the word "harm" in a practical way, we might call it the result of instincts in collision, which cause physical, mental, emotional, or spiritual
damage to people.
135.
136.
137.
We have admitted certain
defects; we have ascertained in a rough
way what the trouble is; we
have put our finger on the weak items in our personal inventory.
138.
Our stories disclose in a
general way what we used to be like, what happened, and what we are like
now.
139.
The central fact of our lives today is the absolute certainty that
our Creator has entered
into our hearts and lives in
a way which is indeed miraculous.
140.
We search for an easier
way -- which usually consists of the general and
fairly painless admission that when drinking we were sometimes
bad actors.
141.
142.
We have been talking about problems because we are problem people who have found a way up and out, and who wish to share our knowledge of that way with all
who can use it.
143.
144.
145.
146.
147.
148.
They even had to coin a couple of sentences which still go into half the letters they write: "Of course, you are at perfect liberty to handle this matter any way you please.
149.
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Alcoholics Anonymous, the
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164 and More concordance does not in any way imply
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Inc., or the A.A. Grapevine, Inc. Further A.A.W.S. Inc. and the A.A.
Grapevine Inc. have no objection to the use of this material in the
164 and More concordance.
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