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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
2.
3.
Here was the terrible dilemma in which our friend found himself when he had the
extraordinary experience, which as we have already told you, made him a free man.
4.
5.
6.
He subsequently denied
having received the money
and used the incident as a
basis for discrediting
the man.
7.
8.
9.
10.
Had they fired me first, and
had they then taken steps to
see that I was presented
with the solution contained in this book, I
might have returned to them six months later, a well man.
11.
12.
13.
14.
15.
We think we are sensible
when we urge that you stop this
waste and give your worthwhile man a chance.
16.
Judging from what I had seen
in Europe and since, the power of God in human affairs was negligible, the Brotherhood of Man a grim jest.
17.
If your man accepts your offer, it should be pointed out that physical treatment is but a small part of the picture.
18.
19.
When our friend related his
experience, the man agreed that no amount of will power he might muster could stop his drinking for long.
20.
21.
22.
23.
24.
25.
We never thought of making honesty, tolerance, and true love of man and God the daily basis of living.
26.
27.
28.
29.
30.
After reading this book, a junior executive can go to such a man and say approximately this, "Look here, Ed.
31.
Many times we talk to a new man and watch his hope rise as we discuss his alcoholic problems and explain our fellowship.
32.
33.
Every man and woman who has joined A.A. and intends to stick has, without realizing it, made a beginning on Step Three.
34.
Carefully reading the first five proposals we ask if we have omitted anything, for we are
building an arch through which we shall walk a free man at last.
35.
36.
Because of the employee's
special ability, or of his
own strong personal attachment to
him, the employer has sometimes kept such a man at work long beyond a reasonable period.
37.
38.
39.
If the man be agnostic or atheist, make it emphatic that he does not have to agree with your conception
of God.
40.
More often than not, it is imperative that a man's brain be cleared before he is approached, as
he has then a better chance
of understanding and accepting what we have to offer.
41.
From a trembling, despairing, nervous wreck, had emerged a man brimming over with self-reliance and contentment.
42.
But this was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard's experiences
known to man, but who had been
cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the spiritual approach.
43.
44.
If a sufficiently strong reason -- ill health, falling in love, change of environment, or
the warning of a doctor --
becomes operative, this
man can also stop or moderate, although he may find it difficult and troublesome and may even need medical attention.
45.
46.
This practice enables us
to lend a hand, at the same time avoiding certain alluring distractions
of the road, about which any traveling man can inform you.(*)
47.
As soon as a man can say that he does believe, or is
willing to believe, we emphatically assure him
that he is on his way.
48.
The Episcopal magazine,
The Living Church, observes editorially:
"The basis of the technique of Alcoholics
Anonymous is the truly Christian principle that
a man cannot help himself except by helping others.
49.
50.
51.
52.
When dealing with an alcoholic, there may be a natural annoyance that a
man could be so weak, stupid and irresponsible.
53.
54.
55.
56.
Painfully aware of being somehow abnormal, the man did not fully realize what it meant to be alcoholic.(*)
57.
58.
The question which might naturally come into your mind would be: "what did the man do
or say that was different
from what others had done or
said?"
59.
If you are sure your man does
not want to stop, he may as well be discharged, the sooner the better.
60.
61.
62.
Young people may be encouraged by this man's experience to think that
they can stop, as he did, on their own will power.
63.
64.
65.
They experienced a few distressing failures,
but in those cases they made an effort to bring the man's family into a spiritual way of living, thus relieving much worry and suffering.
66.
67.
68.
Those who did would sometimes assure us that, after all, a lively bender was only a good man's fault.
69.
The only answer I could make
was that if the man followed
the usual pattern, he would
go on a bigger bust than ever.
70.
My downfall cost the business community unknown thousands of dollars, for it takes real money to train a man for an executive position.
71.
The employer cannot play favorites, but he can always
defend a man from needless provocation and
unfair criticism.
72.
In our belief any scheme of combating alcoholism which proposes
to shield the sick man from temptation is doomed to failure.
73.
74.
75.
When people presented us
with spiritual approaches, how frequently did we all say, "I
wish I had what that man has.
76.
77.
After your man has gone along without drinking for a few months, you may be able to make use of his services with other employees who are giving you the alcoholic run-around -- provided, of course, they are
willing to have a third party in the picture.
78.
79.
An exceptional man, he remained bone dry for twenty-five years and retired at the age of fifty-five, after a successful and happy business career.
80.
For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and
miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
81.
... man in
everlasting ignorance -- that principle is ...
BB
Appendix II, Spiritual Experience, p.568
"There is a principle which is a bar against all information, which is proof
against all arguments
and which cannot fail to keep a
man in everlasting ignorance -- that principle is contempt prior to investigation."
-- Herbert Spencer
82.
83.
84.
The man in the bed was told of the acute poisoning from which he suffered, how it deteriorates the body of an
alcoholic and warps his mind.
85.
86.
87.
He did not design man to destroy himself by alcohol, but He did give man instincts to help him to stay alive.
88.
89.
90.
91.
92.
93.
When the man is presented
with this volume it is best
that no one tell him he must abide by its suggestions.
94.
95.
96.
97.
98.
He will perceive that his spiritual growth is lopsided, that for an average man like himself, a spiritual life which does not
include his family obligations may not be so perfect after all.
99.
100.
The immense resources now being harnessed promise such a quantity of material blessings that many have come to believe that a man-made millennium lies just ahead.
101.
102.
Your man may be trusted.
103.
A man may criticize or laugh at himself and it will affect others favorably, but criticism or ridicule coming from another often produces the contrary effect.
104.
105.
106.
When thus out of joint, man's natural desires cause him great trouble, practically all
the trouble there is.
107.
108.
One school would allow man no
flavor for his fare and the other would have us all on a straight pepper diet.
109.
110.
To Christ I conceded the
certainty of a great man, not too closely followed by those who claimed Him.
111.
Not being a man of means, I knew that if I did not stay sober enough to earn money, I would run out of liquor.
112.
My father was a professional man of recognized ability and both my father and mother were most active in church affairs.
113.
114.
115.
116.
When a man or a woman has a spiritual awakening, the
most important meaning
of it is that he has now become
able to do, feel, and believe that which he could not do before on his unaided strength and resources alone.
117.
In later life he finds that real happiness is not to be found
in just trying to be a number one man, or even a first-rater in the heartbreaking struggle
for money, romance, or self-importance.
118.
119.
It was thought that no alcoholic man or woman could be excluded from
our Society; that our leaders might serve but never govern; that each group was to be autonomous and there was to be no professional class of therapy.
120.
121.
This brave philosophy, wherein each man plays God,
sounds good in the speaking, but it still has to
meet the acid test: how well does it actually work?
122.
123.
Much of the everyday talk we hear, and a great deal of what we read, highlights man's pride in his own achievements.
124.
125.
126.
... man, religion
and that instinct for association ...
BB
Appendix III, The Medical View on A.A., p.569
Dr. Foster Kennedy, neurologist:
"This organization of Alcoholics Anonymous calls on two of the greatest reservoirs of power known to man, religion and that instinct for association
with one's fellows ... the 'herd instinct.'
127.
How he does cherish the thought that man, risen so majestically from
a single cell in the primordial ooze, is the spearhead of evolution
and therefore the only god
that his universe knows!
128.
129.
130.
131.
132.
When we see a man sinking into the mire that is alcoholism, we give him first aid and place what we have at his disposal.
133.
A man so involved often feels very remorseful at times, especially if he is
married to a loyal and courageous girl who has literally gone through hell for him.
134.
135.
136.
Couples are occasionally dismayed
to find that when drinking
is stopped the man tends to be impotent.
137.
138.
139.
140.
141.
We women carry with us a picture of the ideal man, the sort of chap we would like our husbands to be.
142.
143.
144.
This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare ourselves for the following Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety.
145.
But his face falls when we speak of spiritual matters, especially when
we mention God, for we have re-opened a subject which our man thought he had neatly evaded or entirely ignored.
146.
147.
He did not design man to destroy himself by alcohol, but He did give man instincts to help him to stay alive.
148.
149.
After satisfying yourself that your man wants to recover and that he will go to any
extreme to do so, you may suggest a definite course of action.
150.
151.
Sometimes the man we are calling upon admits his own fault, so feuds of years' standing melt away in an hour.
152.
153.
154.
155.
156.
157.
158.
159.
160.
But for every man who drinks others are involved -- the wife who trembles in fear of the next debauch; the mother and father who see their son wasting away.
161.
162.
163.
But this was a man who had experienced many years of frightful drinking, who had had most all the drunkard's experiences
known to man, but who had been
cured by the very means I had been trying to employ, that is to say the spiritual approach.
164.
They sound like the philosophy of the man who,
having a headache, beats himself on the head with a hammer so that he can't feel the
ache.
165.
We know there are difficult
wives and families, but the
man who is getting over alcoholism must remember he did much to make them so.
166.
That the man who is making the
approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole
deportment shouts at the
new prospect that he is a
man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no
axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured --
these are the conditions we have found most effective.
167.
Nothing will help the man who is off on a spiritual tangent so much as the wife who adopts a sane spiritual program, making a better practical use of it.
168.
Though some of his manifestations are alarming and disagreeable, we think dad will be on a firmer foundation than the
man who is placing business or professional success ahead of spiritual development.
169.
He goes on to explain that any person capable of enough willingness and honesty
to try repeatedly Step Six on all his faults -- without any reservations whatever -- has indeed come a long way spiritually, and is therefore entitled to be
called a man who is sincerely trying to grow in the image and likeness of his own Creator.
170.
171.
172.
He is like the retired business man who lolls in the Florida sunshine in the winter complaining of the sad state of the nation; the minister who sighs over the sins of the twentieth century; politicians and reformers who are sure all
would be Utopia if the rest of
the world would only behave;
the outlaw safe cracker who thinks society has wronged him; and
the alcoholic who has lost
all and is locked up.
173.
174.
175.
The A.A., or indeed any man, who tries to run his life rigidly by this kind of prayer, by this self-serving demand of God for replies, is a particularly disconcerting individual.
176.
Impressed by those who visited him at the hospital,
he capitulated entirely when, later, in an upper room of this house, he heard the story of some man whose experience closely tallied with his own.
177.
Your man will fare better if placed in such physical condition that he
can think straight and no longer craves liquor.
178.
179.
An alcoholic who has recovered, but holds a relatively unimportant
job, can talk to a man with a better position.
180.
That the man who is making the
approach has had the same difficulty, that he obviously knows what he is talking about, that his whole
deportment shouts at the
new prospect that he is a
man with a real answer, that he has no attitude of Holier Than Thou, nothing whatever except the sincere desire to be helpful; that there are no fees to pay, no
axes to grind, no people to please, no lectures to be endured --
these are the conditions we have found most effective.
181.
Not long after the man with the double stigma knocked for admission, A.A.'s other group received into its membership a salesman we
shall call Ed.
182.
183.
Actually we were fooling
ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental
idea of God.
184.
185.
Many a man, yet dazed from his hospital experience, has
stepped over the threshold of that home into freedom.
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