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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
They pointed out that the Foundation board already knew of a total of half a million dollars set aside for A.A. in the wills of people still alive.
2.
3.
Still another difficulty is that you may become jealous of the attention he bestows on other people, especially alcoholics.
4.
5.
One voice says, "I read a piece in the newspapers...";
another, "We heard a radio program..."; and still another, "We saw a moving picture..." or "We saw something about A.A. on television...."
6.
7.
8.
His own character may still be gravely defective, but he somehow
knows that God has enabled him to make a mighty beginning, and he senses that he stands at the edge of new mysteries, joys, and experiences of which he had never even dreamed.
9.
To certain newcomers and
to those one-time agnostics who still cling to the A.A. group as their higher power, claims for the power of prayer may, despite all the logic and experience in proof of it, still be unconvincing or quite objectionable.
10.
11.
We had failed to see that though adult in years we were still behaving childishly, trying to turn everybody -- friends, wives, husbands, even the world itself -- into protective
parents.
12.
13.
Because we were still bothered by fear, self-pity, and hurt feelings, it was probable we couldn't appraise ourselves fairly at all.
14.
No matter who you are, no matter how low you've gone, no matter how grave your emotional complications -- even your
crimes -- we still can't deny you A.A.
15.
These distinguished men
had the nerve to say that most
of the alcoholics under
investigation were still childish, emotionally sensitive,
and grandiose.
16.
Where people had temporarily let us run their lives as though they were still children, we had felt very happy and secure ourselves.
17.
From great numbers of such experiences, we could
predict that the doubter
who still claimed that he
hadn't got the "spiritual angle," and who still considered his well-loved A.A. group the higher power, would presently love God and call Him by name.
18.
19.
20.
To certain newcomers and
to those one-time agnostics who still cling to the A.A. group as their higher power, claims for the power of prayer may, despite all the logic and experience in proof of it, still be unconvincing or quite objectionable.
21.
Practicing Step Three is like the opening of a door which to all
appearances is still closed and locked.
22.
From great numbers of such experiences, we could
predict that the doubter
who still claimed that he
hadn't got the "spiritual angle," and who still considered his well-loved A.A. group the higher power, would presently love God and call Him by name.
23.
If he sticks to the idea that
he can still control his drinking, tell him that possibly he can -- if he is not too alcoholic.
24.
25.
But suppose that instinct
still cries out, as it certainly will, "Yes, respecting alcohol, I guess I have to be dependent
upon A.A., but in all other matters I must still maintain my independence.
26.
Until we had talked with complete candor of our conflicts, and had listened to someone else do the same thing, we still didn't belong.
27.
28.
29.
Though we have no religious connection, we
may still do well to talk with someone ordained by an established religion.
30.
Looking at those who were
only beginning and still doubted themselves, the rest of us were able to see the change setting in.
31.
For practicing A.A.'s remaining eleven Steps means the adoption of attitudes and
actions that almost no alcoholic who is still drinking can dream of taking.
32.
(*) In adapted form, the Steps are also used by Al-Anon Family Groups. Not a part of A.A., this worldwide fellowship consists of spouses and other relatives or friends of alcoholics (in A.A. or still drinking). Its headquarters address is 1600 Corporate Landing Pkwy, Virginia Beach, VA 23454-5617.
33.
(*) Written in 1939, when
there were few women in A.A., this chapter assumes that the alcoholic
in the home is likely to be
the husband. But many of the
suggestions given here may be adapted to help the person who lives with a woman alcoholic -- whether she is
still drinking or is recovering in A.A. A further source of help is noted on page 121.
34.
"Still dubious, he demanded, 'Do you really mean the only reason you are here is to try and help me and to help yourself?'
35.
By now the newcomer has probably arrived at the following conclusions:
that his character defects, representing instincts gone astray, have been the primary
cause of his drinking and
his failure at life; that unless he is now willing to work hard at the elimination of
the worst of these defects,
both sobriety and peace of mind will still elude him; that all the faulty
foundation of his life will have to be torn out and built anew on bedrock.
36.
And we cling with a passionate persistence
to others which are just as disturbing to our equilibrium, because we
still enjoy them too much.
37.
38.
I still expected a plea for clemency, but these words came through the receiver: "I just wanted to tell you Paul jumped from a hotel window in Hartford last Saturday.
39.
They can hardly fail to approve these simple principles, though the head of the house still fails somewhat in practicing
them.
40.
41.
42.
43.
Like us, they had suddenly
found themselves saved from death, but still floating upon a perilous sea.
44.
They even had to coin a couple of sentences which
still go into half the letters they write: "Of course, you are at perfect liberty to handle this matter any way you please.
45.
Still goaded by sheer necessity, we reluctantly come to grips with those serious character flaws that made problem drinkers of us in
the first place, flaws which must be dealt with to prevent a retreat into alcoholism once again.
46.
I gave the matter much time and study for the next two and a half years, but I still got tight every night nevertheless.
47.
Then we are hurt and confused when the advice is
rejected, or when it is accepted and brings still greater confusion.
48.
49.
50.
When temporary good fortune came our way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of
still greater victories over people and circumstances.
51.
So we decided that while we
still had some flaws of character that we could not yet
relinquish, we ought nevertheless to quit our stubborn, rebellious hanging on to them.
52.
Alcoholics who still had
their health, their families, their jobs, and even two cars
in the garage, began to recognize their alcoholism.
53.
Possibly, too, we were still
handicapped by many liabilities, great and small, we never knew we had.
54.
55.
An alcoholic who cannot meet them, still has an alcoholic mind; there is something the matter with
his spiritual status.
56.
This brave philosophy, wherein each man plays God, sounds good in the speaking, but it
still has to meet the acid test: how well does it actually work?
57.
58.
We may still have no very high opinion of humility as a desirable personal virtue, but we do recognize
it as a necessary aid to our
survival.
59.
Nearly all A.A.'s have found, too, that unless they develop much more of this precious quality than may be required
just for sobriety, they
still haven't much chance of becoming truly happy.
60.
61.
We had long talks when I would
still her forebodings by
telling her that men of genius conceived their best projects when drunk; that the most majestic
constructions of philosophic thought were
so derived.
62.
63.
64.
65.
Being still inexperienced and having just made conscious contact with God, it is not probable that we
are going to be inspired at
all times.
66.
67.
The question was -- and sometimes still is -- are such activities to be branded as professionalism under
A.A. tradition?
68.
69.
How we loved to shout the damaging fact that millions of the 'good men of religion' were still killing one another off in the name of God.
70.
Until we actually sit down and talk aloud about what we have so
long hidden, our willingness to clean house is still largely theoretical.
71.
He and all like him who "view
with alarm for the good of A.A." meet the most stubborn resistance or,
worse still, laughter.
72.
73.
All of us felt at times that we
were regaining control,
but such intervals -- usually brief -- were inevitably followed by
still less control, which led in time to pitiful and incomprehensible demoralization.
74.
We still like it.
75.
The notion that we would still
live our own lives, God helping a little now and then, began to evaporate.
76.
77.
When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity
for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence
looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable
fears.
78.
At Step Six, many of us balked -- for the practical reason that we did
not wish to have all our defects of character removed, because we still loved some of them too much.
79.
But suppose that instinct
still cries out, as it certainly will, "Yes, respecting alcohol, I guess I have to be dependent
upon A.A., but in all other matters I must still maintain my independence.
80.
But even these people, if they
construct a list of still milder defects, will be obliged to admit that they prefer to hang on to some of
them.
81.
82.
We must be willing to make amends where we have done harm, provided that we do not bring
about still more harm in so doing.
83.
84.
Still more important, murmurs are heard in the body politic, which swell into a loud cry: "Do these oldtimers think they can run this group forever?
85.
They believe in themselves, and still more in the Power which pulls chronic alcoholics back from the gates of death.
86.
87.
88.
Why, he argued, should he lose the remainder of his business, only to bring still more suffering to his family by
foolishly admitting
his plight to people from
whom he made his livelihood?
89.
When we developed still more, we discovered the best possible source of emotional stability to be God Himself.
90.
Still more wonderful is the feeling
that we do not have to be specially distinguished among our
fellows in order to be useful and profoundly happy.
91.
Now that we're in A.A. and sober, and winning back the esteem of our friends and business associates, we find that we
still need to exercise special vigilance.
92.
Here we need only recognize that we did act or think badly, try to visualize how we might
have done better, and resolve with God's help to carry these lessons over into tomorrow, making, of course, any amends still neglected.
93.
94.
It may be he has done us more harm than we have done him and, though we may have acquired a
better attitude toward him, we are still not too
keen about admitting our faults.
95.
They will approach still other sick ones and fellowships of Alcoholics Anonymous may
spring up in each city and hamlet, havens for those who must find a way out.
96.
As part of his rehabilitation he commenced to present his conceptions to other alcoholics, impressing
upon them that they must do likewise with still others.
97.
With the publication of the book "Alcoholics Anonymous" in 1939, the pioneering period ended and a prodigious chain reaction set in as the recovered alcoholics carried their
message to still others.
98.
Arrangements were also
made with the chief psychiatrist of a large public hospital to select still others from the stream of misery which flows through that institution.
99.
There will be other cases where action ought to be deferred, and
still others in which by the
very nature of the situation we shall never be able to make direct personal contact at all.
100.
There would be real danger
should we commence to call
some groups "wet," others "dry," still others "Republican" or "Communist," and yet others "Catholic" or "Protestant."
101.
Some of us won't believe in God, others can't, and still others who do believe that God exists have no faith whatever He will perform this miracle.
102.
Though the earning power of most A.A.'s is relatively high, we have some
members who never seem to get on their feet moneywise, and still others who encounter heavy financial reverses.
103.
104.
Without a searching and
fearless moral inventory, most of us have found that the faith which really works in daily living is still out of reach.
105.
106.
107.
This reopening of emotional wounds, some old, some perhaps forgotten, and some still painfully festering, will at first look like a purposeless and pointless piece of surgery.
108.
109.
110.
111.
112.
Could we still say the whole thing was nothing but a mass of electrons, created out of nothing, meaning nothing, whirling on to a destiny of
nothingness?
113.
If all our lives we had more or
less fooled ourselves, how could we now be
so sure that we weren't still self-deceived?
114.
115.
116.
For us, if we neglect those
who are still sick, there is unremitting danger to our
own lives and sanity.
117.
118.
It is seldom wise to approach an individual,
who still smarts from our injustice to him, and announce that we have gone religious.
119.
Though he is now a most effective member of Alcoholics Anonymous, he
still smokes and drinks coffee, but neither his wife nor anyone else stands in judgment.
120.
While the comment or advice of others may be by no means infallible, it is likely to
be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still so inexperienced in establishing contact
with a Power greater than ourselves.
121.
Nor do we enter into debate with the many who still so passionately cling to the belief that to satisfy our basic natural desires is the main object of life.
122.
123.
What has become of the common sense and will power that he still sometimes displays with respect to other matters?
124.
125.
But we soon discovered
that while we weren't alone any more in a social sense, we still suffered many of the old pangs of anxious apartness.
126.
When, with God's help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too.
127.
Five -- Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to the alcoholic
who still suffers.
128.
5. Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but one primary purpose -- that of carrying its message to the alcoholic
who still suffers.
129.
Tradition Five -- "Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers."
130.
"Each group has but one primary purpose -- to carry its message to the alcoholic who still suffers."
131.
Five -- Each Alcoholics Anonymous group ought to be a spiritual entity having but
one primary purpose -- that of carrying
its message to the alcoholic who still suffers.
132.
I could almost hear the sound of the preacher's voice as I sat, on still Sundays, way over there on the hillside; there was that proffered temperance pledge I never signed; my grandfather's
good natured contempt of some church folk and their doings; his insistence that the spheres really had their music; but his denial of the preacher's right to tell him how he must listen; his fearlessness
as he spoke of these things
just before he died; these recollections
welled up from the past.
133.
We were still sure that we ought to be fairly honest, tolerant, and just, that we ought to be ambitious and hardworking.
134.
135.
136.
When a job still looked like a mere means of getting money rather than an opportunity
for service, when the acquisition of money for financial independence
looked more important than a right dependence upon God, we were still the victims of unreasonable
fears.
137.
138.
139.
If he temporizes and still
thinks he can ever drink again, even beer, he might as well be discharged after the next bender which, if an alcoholic, he is almost certain to have.
140.
Nevertheless, I still thought I could control the
situation, and there were periods of sobriety which renewed my wife's hope.
141.
142.
Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...," but we should not say to ourselves, "This I will never give up!"
143.
144.
We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves.
145.
If he is, and is still trying
to recover, he will tell you about it even if it means the loss of his job.
146.
147.
Of course the sponsor points out that our friend's life is still unmanageable even though he is sober, that after all, only a bare start on A.A.'s program has been made.
148.
Let us look now upon the sea and ponder what its mystery is; and let us lift our eyes to the far horizon, beyond which we shall seek all those wonders still unseen.
149.
Looking again at those defects we are still unwilling to give up, we ought to erase the hard-and-fast lines that we have drawn.
150.
Even when our fortunes had
not ebbed that much and we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world, we still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy kind of domination or dependence.
151.
152.
153.
During these years, I drank as much as my purse permitted, still without paying too great a penalty, although I was beginning to have morning
"jitters" at times.
154.
155.
156.
157.
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