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From the books ... Alcoholics Anonymous (Big Book) and Twelve Steps and Twelve Traditions (12 & 12)
Click the page number or the book cover icon
to view that page in the literature.1.
2.
3.
We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when
we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree
of stability, happiness and usefulness
which we should have sought ourselves.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.
11.
We attempt to sweep away the debris which has accumulated out of our effort to live on self-will and run the show ourselves.
12.
13.
We do not tire so easily, for
we are not burning up energy foolishly as we did
when we were trying to arrange life to suit ourselves.
14.
15.
16.
Lose sense of isolation, receive forgiveness and give it; learn humility; gain honesty and realism about ourselves.
17.
18.
19.
20.
21.
How could we be certain that we had made a true catalog of our defects and
had really admitted them,
even to ourselves?
22.
While the comment or advice of others may be by no means infallible, it is likely to
be far more specific than any direct guidance we may receive while we are still so inexperienced in
establishing contact
with a Power greater than
ourselves.
23.
24.
25.
We could actually have earnest religious beliefs which remained barren because we were still trying to play God ourselves.
26.
27.
28.
It is A.A.'s experience that
particularly in these cases we ought to pray that God's will, whatever it is, be done for others as well as for ourselves.
29.
30.
Where people had temporarily let us run their lives as though they were still children, we had felt very happy and secure ourselves.
31.
32.
33.
If at these points our emotional disturbance
happens to be great, we will more surely keep our balance, provided we remember, and repeat to ourselves, a particular prayer or phrase that has appealed to us in our reading or meditation.
34.
35.
Even when our fortunes had
not ebbed that much and we nevertheless found ourselves alone in the world, we still vainly tried to be secure by some unhealthy kind of domination or dependence.
36.
Whenever we fail any of these people, we can promptly admit it -- to ourselves always, and to them also, when the admission would
be helpful.
37.
38.
This will be a very different occasion, and in
sharp contrast with those hangover mornings when we alternated between reviling ourselves and blaming the family (and everyone else) for our troubles.
39.
40.
We threw money about in every direction with the purpose of pleasing ourselves and impressing other people.
41.
For faith in a Power greater than ourselves, and miraculous demonstrations of that power in human lives, are facts as old as man himself.
42.
43.
44.
While the purpose of making restitution to others is paramount, it is
equally necessary that
we extricate from an examination of our personal relations every bit of information about ourselves
and our fundamental difficulties that we can.
45.
Our hope is that many alcoholic men and women, desperately in need, will see these pages, and we believe that it is only by fully disclosing ourselves and our problems that
they will be persuaded to
say, "Yes, I am one of them too; I must have this thing."
46.
When, with God's help, we calmly accepted our lot, then we found we could live at peace with ourselves and show others who still suffered the same fears that they could get over them, too.
47.
They arise out of ourselves, and the alcoholic is
an extreme example of self-will run
riot, though he usually doesn't think so.
48.
Can we transform these calamities into assets, sources of growth and comfort to ourselves and those about us?
49.
50.
It had been embarrassing enough when in confidence
we had admitted these things to God, to ourselves, and to another human being.
51.
52.
This requires action on
our part, which, when completed, will mean that we have admitted to
God, to ourselves, and to another human being, the exact nature of our defects.
53.
Step Five -- "Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs."
54.
55.
When we are honest with another person, it confirms that we have been honest with ourselves and with God.
56.
For it is only by accepting and solving our problems that we
can begin to get right with ourselves and with the
world about us, and with Him who presides over us all.
57.
More realism and therefore more honesty about ourselves are the
great gains we make under the influence of Step Five.
58.
Finally, we begin to see that all people, including ourselves, are to
some extent emotionally
ill as well as frequently wrong, and then
we approach true tolerance and see what real love for our fellows actually means.
59.
60.
61.
62.
Instead of regarding
ourselves as intelligent
agents, spearheads of God's ever advancing Creation, we agnostics and atheists chose to believe that our human intelligence was the
last word, the alpha and the omega, the beginning and end of all.
63.
In Step Eight, we continued our housecleaning, for we saw
that we were not only in conflict with ourselves, but also with people and situations in
the world in which we lived.
64.
65.
We sit in A.A. meetings and listen, not only
to receive something
ourselves, but to give the reassurance and support
which our presence can bring.
66.
In these ways we are set in conflict not only with ourselves, but with other people who have instincts,
too.
67.
We used to amuse ourselves by cynically dissecting spiritual beliefs and practices when
we might have observed that many spiritually-minded persons of all races, colors, and creeds were demonstrating a degree
of stability, happiness and usefulness
which we should have sought ourselves.
68.
As an insurance against
"big-shot-ism" we can often check ourselves by remembering that we are today sober only by the grace of God and that any success we may be having is
far more His success than ours.
69.
Whenever our pencil falters, we can fortify and
cheer ourselves by remembering what A.A. experience in this Step has
meant to others.
70.
71.
72.
73.
It is really saying to us
that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did
when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.
74.
75.
Because we were still bothered by fear, self-pity, and hurt feelings, it was probable we couldn't appraise ourselves fairly at all.
76.
Actually we were fooling
ourselves, for deep down in every man, woman, and child, is the fundamental
idea of God.
77.
How often have some of us begun to drink in this nonchalant way, and after the third or fourth, pounded on the bar and said to ourselves, "For God's sake, how did I ever get started again?"
78.
79.
This feeling of being at one with God and man, this emerging from isolation through the open and honest sharing of our terrible burden of guilt, brings us to a resting place where we may prepare
ourselves for the following
Steps toward a full and meaningful sobriety.
80.
81.
In consternation, we saw
ourselves getting married to all kinds of enterprises, some good and
some not so good.
82.
There's the spot-check inventory, taken at any time of the day, whenever we find ourselves getting tangled up.
83.
... ourselves handicapped
by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning ...
BB
We Agnostics, pp.47-48
Besides a seeming inability to accept much on faith, we often found ourselves handicapped by obstinacy, sensitiveness, and unreasoning prejudice.
84.
In many instances we shall find that though the harm done others has not been great, the emotional harm we have done ourselves has.
85.
86.
Only by discussing ourselves, holding back nothing, only by being willing to take advice and accept direction could we set foot on the road to straight thinking, solid honesty, and genuine humility.
87.
If all our lives we had more or
less fooled ourselves, how could we now be so sure that we weren't still self-deceived?
88.
89.
When, by such simple devices, we have placed ourselves in a mood in which we can focus undisturbed on constructive imagination, we might proceed like this:
90.
91.
If that is so, this step may be postponed, only, however, if we hold ourselves in complete readiness to go through with it at the first opportunity.
92.
When temporary good fortune came our way, we indulged ourselves in fantasies of still greater victories over people and circumstances.
93.
When we look back, we realize that the things which
came to us when we put ourselves in God's hands were better than anything we could have planned.
94.
The tyrant alcohol wielded a double-edged sword over us: first we were smitten by an insane urge that condemned us to go on drinking, and then by an allergy of the body that insured we would ultimately destroy ourselves in the process.
95.
It mattered little whether we had sat on the shore of life drinking ourselves into forgetfulness or had plunged in recklessly and
willfully beyond our depth and ability.
96.
As we persist, a brand-new kind of confidence is born, and the
sense of relief at finally facing ourselves is indescribable.
97.
Most of us think this awareness of a Power greater than ourselves is the essence of spiritual experience.
98.
When, however, the perfectly logical assumption is suggested that underneath the material
world and life as we see it, there is an All Powerful, Guiding, Creative Intelligence,
right there our perverse streak comes to the surface and we laboriously set out to convince ourselves it isn't so.
99.
100.
How persistently we claim the right to decide all by ourselves just what we shall think and just how we shall act.
101.
... ourselves justified
by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, ...
BB
More About Alcoholism, p.37
In some circumstances we have gone out deliberately to get drunk, feeling ourselves justified by nervousness, anger, worry, depression, jealousy or the like.
102.
If these thoughts occur,
they are hazy and readily supplanted with the old threadbare idea that this time we shall handle ourselves like other people.
103.
In no deep or meaningful sense had we ever taken stock of ourselves, made amends to those we had harmed, or freely given to any other human being without any demand for reward.
104.
We constantly remind
ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy
will be done."
105.
By so accepting our dependence upon this marvel of science, we find ourselves more independent personally.
106.
107.
108.
After we have made the list of people we have harmed, have reflected carefully upon each instance, and have tried to possess ourselves of the right attitude in which to proceed, we will see that the making of direct amends divides those we should approach into several classes.
109.
110.
We naturally congratulate ourselves on
what later proves to be a far too easy and superficial point of view.
111.
We ask especially for freedom from self-will, and are careful to make no request for ourselves only.
112.
113.
Pride lures us into making demands upon ourselves or upon others which cannot be met without perverting or misusing
our God-given instincts.
114.
115.
Established on such a footing we became less and less interested in ourselves, our
little plans and designs.
116.
Whatever our protestations, are not most of us concerned with ourselves, our
resentments, or our self-pity?
117.
118.
119.
We admit we have some of these symptoms, but we have not gone
to the extremes you fellows did, nor are we likely to, for we understand ourselves so well after what you have told us that such things cannot happen again.
120.
At these critical moments, if we remind ourselves that "it is better to comfort than to be comforted, to understand
than to be understood, to love than to be loved," we will be following the intent of Step Eleven.
121.
When we had taken the opposite tack and had insisted, like infants ourselves, that people protect and take care of us or that the world owed us a living, then the result had
been equally unfortunate.
122.
Reminding ourselves that we
have decided to go to any lengths to find a spiritual experience, we ask that we be
given strength and direction to do the right thing, no matter what the personal consequences may be.
123.
124.
When our inventory is carefully taken, and we have
made peace with ourselves, the conviction follows that tomorrow's challenges can be met as they
come.
125.
126.
127.
We'd have to have outside help if we were surely to know and admit the truth about ourselves -- the help of God and another human being.
128.
129.
When by devoted service to
family, friends, business, or community we
attract widespread affection and are sometimes singled out for posts of greater responsibility
and trust, we try to be humbly grateful and exert ourselves the more in a spirit of love and service.
130.
Or we may just procrastinate, telling
ourselves the time is not yet, when in reality we have already passed up many a fine
chance to right a serious wrong.
131.
Yet, in other moments, we found ourselves thinking, when enchanted by a starlit night, "Who, then, made all this?"
132.
We asked ourselves this: Are
not some of us just as biased
and unreasonable about the realm of the spirit as were the
ancients about the realm of
the material?
133.
134.
Perhaps we shall be obliged in some cases still to say, "This I cannot give up yet...," but we should not say to
ourselves, "This I will never give up!"
135.
136.
We say to ourselves, "This one ought to be cured of his fatal malady," or "That one ought to be relieved of his emotional pain," and we pray for these specific things.
137.
138.
139.
Once we have a complete willingness to take inventory, and exert ourselves to do the job thoroughly, a wonderful
light falls upon this foggy scene.
140.
True humility and an open mind can lead us to faith, and every A.A. meeting is an assurance
that God will restore us to sanity if we rightly relate ourselves to Him.
141.
142.
In Step Two we saw that since we could not restore ourselves to sanity, some Higher Power must necessarily do so if we were to survive.
143.
144.
We shall want to hold ourselves to the course of admitting the things we have done, meanwhile forgiving the
wrongs done us, real or fancied.
145.
146.
The Seventh Step is where we
make the change in our attitude which permits us,
with humility as our guide,
to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God.
147.
We used our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons, though we were careful to hide this from others.
148.
149.
We now clearly see that we have been making unreasonable demands upon ourselves, upon others, and upon God.
150.
We thought well before taking this step making sure we were ready; that we could
at last abandon ourselves utterly to Him.
151.
We were bothered with the thought that faith and dependence upon a Power beyond ourselves was somewhat weak, even cowardly.
152.
153.
We constantly remind
ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times each day "Thy
will be done."
154.
We found that as soon as we
were able to lay aside prejudice and express even a willingness to believe in
a Power greater than ourselves, we commenced to get results, even though it was impossible for any of us to fully define or comprehend that Power, which
is God.
155.
156.
First, we take a look backward and try to discover where we have
been at fault; next we make a vigorous attempt to repair the damage we have done; and third, having thus cleaned away the debris of the past, we consider how, with our newfound knowledge of
ourselves, we may develop the
best possible relations with every human being we know.
157.
But if we have prepared ourselves well in advance, such reactions will not deflect us from our steady and
even purpose.
158.
Though we did not like their
symptoms and the way these disturbed us, they, like ourselves, were sick too.
159.
160.
Though our decision was a
vital and crucial step, it could have little permanent effect unless at once followed by a strenuous effort to face, and to be rid of, the things in ourselves which had been blocking
us.
161.
Beginning with Step Four, we commenced to search out the things in ourselves which had brought us to physical, moral, and spiritual bankruptcy.
162.
For we had started to get perspective on ourselves,
which is another way of saying that we were gaining in
humility.
163.
Perhaps we shall need to share with this person facts about ourselves which no others ought to know.
164.
165.
If we are now about to ask forgiveness for ourselves,
why shouldn't we start out by forgiving them, one and all?
166.
167.
We had to ask ourselves why we shouldn't apply to our human problems this same readiness to change our point of view.
168.
169.
We will be more reconciled to discussing ourselves with another person when we see good reasons why we should do so.
170.
My wife and I abandoned
ourselves with enthusiasm
to the idea of helping other alcoholics to a solution of their problems.
171.
Notwithstanding the great necessity for discussing ourselves with someone, it may be one is so situated that there is no suitable person available.
172.
We had to see that when we harbored grudges and planned revenge for such defeats, we were really beating ourselves with the club of anger we had intended to use on others.
173.
Can we steadfastly content ourselves with the humbler, yet sometimes more durable, satisfactions
when the brighter, more glittering achievements are denied
us?
174.
Here we cast up a balance sheet, crediting ourselves with things well done, and chalking up debits where due.
175.
If we have swept the searchlight of Step Four back and forth over our careers, and it has revealed
in stark relief those experiences we'd rather not remember, if we
have come to know how wrong thinking and action have hurt us and others, then the need to quit living by ourselves with those tormenting ghosts of yesterday gets more urgent than ever.
176.
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